I have been struggling the last few days to find all the right words and
courage to actually write this post. I wrote a while back, in this post, about
how I wanted to do a series on personal struggles and how it affects our lives.
The reason behind wanting to do this; is to show support to those who are
struggling with the same kind of trials. I wanted to remind you that you are
not alone and there are people out here that are willing to help you with
whatever you need, even if it is just someone to talk too. Every single person
is fighting a battle that you may possible be going through, or maybe you don’t
even know anything about, but this series to help bring awareness to those
struggles that are happening around you. This series is intended provide a community
of support and awareness. This series is for you, your family, your
friend(s), your neighbors, for anyone and everyone.
“Be strong and
courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for
the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave
you nor forsake you.” - Deuteronomy 31:6
I have struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. There were
times though; I couldn’t admit to myself that I struggled with it. I never wanted
to talk about the issues at hand and got really upset when people would ask me
if I possibly thought it may be depression. Personally, I had always made out
depression to be a horrible thing to have. Almost as if I would be looked at
differently because I admitted that I suffered from it. I soon realized though,
these feelings and thoughts that would come over me, I couldn’t control myself.
I knew I needed help, but it took me hitting a breaking point in my life to get
to that place and finally have the courage to ask for the help I needed.
I will never be able to forget the way the depression took over my life
when I moved to North Dakota. I kept blaming all of these mood swings and
roller coaster of emotions on being away from home and the weather there. When I started working more hours than normal and
my shifts were all over the place, I would fall asleep at the drop of a dime;
of course I blamed that on my screwed up sleeping schedule. But, then when I slept
till 2 in the afternoon and could easily take a nap a couple hours later and
fall back to sleep at 10pm; that was completely out of the norm for me. I
remember my friend Ashton asking if I was sad or something was going on in my
life, how it was affecting my emotions. I then started to wonder if something
was really wrong. I honestly blew it off though after a day or two. I didn’t
want to admit I had a problem. In my head, I still never wanted to be ‘that’
person who suffered from such an ‘ugly’ disease. But truthfully, I did and I still
do.
This is my story.
I decided to write this as a
series and in doing so; I am going to break this up into parts. That way you
are not sitting here with a novel in front of you.
____________________________________________________________________________________
I do encourage anyone, to reach
out and email me, if you would like to join. I would love to be able to share
your voice. This series is about anything that you find as a Tough Topic to
talk about. It could be something you deal with daily (mental, physical, or
emotional), something that happened to you and you no longer deal with, a
relationship (family, friend, or partner), a story about your child, children
and/or pregnancy, this series is really meant for anything that you find
hardships with.
Please withhold and refrain from writing/commenting any harsh or unkind words. Any comments that I feel are unwelcoming and not supportive, will be deleted from the post and series. Thank you in advance.
I am so excited for this series. You are so brave!
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