Sunday, January 31, 2010

It feels like it has been so long since I last got on and wrote a little something something. Life has been amazingly beautiful lately. I've been spending my time enjoying everything that has come my way. The weather down here has brought some lovely rain and some snow. Now I hate snow when I have to drive in it, just for the fact that my car likes to call it quites. But I got the chance to go up to Pine Valley with a couple of friends and play in the snow for a bit. It was so beautiful up there. I cant believe how long it has been since i have been up there. We drove by the Pine Valley Chapel, I forgot how pretty it is. I love looking at the steps and just the structure of the building. The snow glistened as we went up and down the roads. We also got to check out all the animal prints in the snow, of course the guys were more interested in the tracks then the snow. Boys will be boys. It was alot of fun though, but I will be honest; I can not wait for the warm weather to come back. I love the winter, but I sure do miss the summertime sunshine. I have learned something lately, we just need to enjoy this journey that we have before us; cause we will have no idea when it will be takin away. Smile whenever you can. Take a picture to remember a moment. Take each oppurtunity that is given to you, and enjoy it.
I like to say that I am trying my best to do this, but I can honestly say that I am doing my best to cherish each second that I can! I smile alot, I haven't had my camera, but its going to start to be my sidekick. So get ready to say Cheez when your around me!!

Thanks for all those who have made an impression in my life. I want to thank everyone who has come into my life, at any point. For all the tears and smile; because of you, I am who I am today. Happy Kenzie is my name. I love my life right now, and I am so extremely grateful for all those who have made it so wonderful. All the people who have made my life such a blast and made me so grateful for all the amazing memories that I get to have later down the road! Peace and Love.

--love always, kenz

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Update on Surgery..

As of tuesday it has been two weeks since I have had surgery. It has been a hard road since I got sick, and I am just so happy to finally know that it is just a better road from here on out. I worked for a few hours a day all last week, and so far this week I have been at work full time. Wow is it kicking my butt, but I can handle it. Once I get home, I love just being able to sit down and put up my feet. Now I understand why my parents just wanted to sit down after work as a child. I have my doctor follow up on Thursday, hopefully all goes well.. haha most of the super glue that covered the cuts have peeled off. Looks so much worse with the super glue on then off. Well all is well so far. Loving that I can do stuff!

Monday, January 11, 2010

What does it take?

Dedicating your self to something is more than just an interest it in. It means that you are making a commitment to do something, and following through with it.

As I sat in sacrament on sunday there was a talk on commitment. He talked about how when your are baptized, you commit yourself to living the way of our father in heaven. He also talked about how we should come to sacrament with a broken heart, that way when we take the sacrament we will can ask for forgivness with intent. If we truly mean it, Heavenly Father will forgive us just like that. That is when you have to dedicate yourself to not make the same choices that you had, better yourself so that you will become more christ like. Something that stood out to me was when he said, "To do the repentense process, you have to have commitment." Also he said "Dedicating yourself: It is different to be interested then to be dedicated and commited to something, especially your father in heaven." I though long and hard during the rest of the sacrament meeting about what I need to dedicate myself to, and follow through with it. If it means writing it on your mirror to have a daily reminder, doing it with family and friend, or putting it right there for you to see each and everyday. Everyone has something big or small that we need to commit ourselves too, by commiting yourself you will better yourself to be more christ like. We need to remember that we are made in his image, so we need to study and become more christ like. That way one day we will be gods or goodesses of our own. We will be able to live with him again. We need to have the qualities of god, or nature of god is what you may refer it too. We must be meriful, loving, unchangable, creative, all knowing(or willing to gain the knowledge given to us), forgiving, genius, joyful, happy, and charitable. If we dedicate ourself to gain these qualities, and study the way of heavenly fathers son, then we will become christ like. Aso there are some things that will bring you closer to him, so that you can believe in your heart that he does exist, he loves us, and that you will know you are his child. *Belive he exist and that he loves us. If you need help on a down day when your in doubt look to Mosiah 4:9.

*Study the scriptures. If you dont understand, read to invite the spirit. Pray to ask for help to understand what you are reading, that the knowledge from the pages with become explainable and understandable to you as a reader.

*Pray to him. We need to talk to our Father in Heaven. He is our father and our friend. We need to update him on life and let him know how we are feeling, truly have a converstation with him. Ask him for help, strength, guidance, whatever it is that you may need in your life. Also remember to take sometime to thank him for all the blessings in your life. Sometimes we take for granted what he gives us, so make sure to thank him for even the small things. Like having a friend, family, or maybe even a toothbrush. A good idea is to be selfless and take a prayer to just thank him for all those things in your life that you are grateful to have in it.

* Obey all his commandment. He wants us to live with him again, but we need to dedicate ourself to follow and become like him, to live with him again. Look at 1 John 2: 3-5, if you need help.

I absolutely love going to church and learning so much about this gospel that I love. I want gain all the knowledge that my brain can cram into it. I cant wait to dedicate myself to gaining more knowledge.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Take a little time..

Sittin on the couch last night with Melanie made me realize something. I really miss those long life talks with my closest friends. Lately, So much has been on my mind and I have been keeping it all in. During christmas time this year I had alot of down time which made me start thinking. Sometimes that can not be such a good thing for someone, but on the other hand it can be the best thing that you need to do. Things seems like they are all just coming at once. Like for the fact that the cleaners is slow, so its hard to get the hours that I would like. I have seriously though about getting a second job, just to help put away money and pay off some debt that is driving me nuts. Another thing is Money, and of course none of us are where we wish we were. But at the same time I felt that over the summer, I had my money so much more controlled. Then things like the brakes on the car has to be replace, and I had to pay for registration 2 times this year. The stupid bank screwed me over and it had to be paid, or moreless I would be without a car. Then the sickness hit, so the doctor bills just all came in on me. Then the fact that when I am down, I have a serious shopping habit. It can honestly be one of the worst things, but I am just lucky that I caught myself before it got too out of hand. Believe me, it can get way out of hand for me.
So last night made me realize that I personally need to take some time each day and write down my thoughts to get them out, or sit down and talk to some. That way I can feel so much better and I think it will help with all the stresst that is locked away inside of me. I honestly do not do well with stress. Mom says that when I am way stressed out, I take it out on her. I think that when I have this all built up inside of me, and someone makes me mad. It all comes out. I dont know how to handle it, so i'm going to try this idea that came to me. I hope that it will help, cause I could sure use to.
The last week has been such a good week though, I will have to say that. I have had the best time just hanging out and catching up with Brooke. I absolutley love her and love lil miss Hailey. It has been so much fun just getting to see her and be around her again. I miss that family so much. I cant wait to be all better, we have so many fun things planned. Brooke is such a strong woman, She is so spiritual and she just glows. She is such an inspiration to me, I look up to her so much. I really cant wait to just be around her more often, she reminds me of who I want to be. She is a awesome mother, wife, sister, and friend.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Spafford Family Blog...up and running(:

I've been told for so long that i need to do our family blog. So I thought since I had a little extra time, I'd just do it. Well here it is,

Go check it out!

Be a follower and watch our family journey(:

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Missed the ol' times..

Today was such a fun day. I got to spend it with Brooke! She is such an amazing person, I love being able to talk with her about everything and anything that came across our minds. We talked about all the memories that we created over the summer at Lake Powell, and just hanging out around good ol' stg. My favorite was the walk that we went on when Dylan decided that he wanted to bring the scooter. After not wanting to ride it anymore the boys took over, Wes and T started riding it and going all crazy on it. Then the hill came, oh the hill. They were so funny, and the sprinklers were a blast trying to not get wet from them. Those were some fun days. She cant wait to make more memories in the future, either can I. I am so excited to have her back in my life after Justin and I splitting.
Sometimes dont you just love looking back on all the memories that you have had over the years. I know that I love to just look through pictures and remember what happend on that day. Like old high school pictures from dance, football games, parties, and all the other nights. I love find pictures of Morgan and I from when we were little. Like the one where we have flour all over us from baking a cake and we got into a little flour throwing fight. Old birthdays, are always a joy to look at. Fun Vacations, Boring Vacations, Last Minute Vacations, Vacations in general. All the many memories that you can bring up and remember by looking at old pictures that you may have stached in the back of your closet, in an old scrapbook, on the computer, where ever they may be. Take 'em out and think of all the fun you had in that picture.

These are a few pictures that I had on my computer, from the old days(:

Christmas Break '08

Morgan and I

This is from a trip that Levi and I took up to Salt Lake.

Lake Powell June '08.
This is the trip that we took after graduation.

Graduation May '08

Spafford and Barnum.

This is when Barnum suprised us all and chopped her hair off.

Junior Year of High School.

April '07

This is Wes Swaney. I dated him for a while in high school.

The pursuit of happiness, or alteast mine.

So it has been a long while since I last had a chance to write. A lot of crazy things have happened in my life lately. Things that have made me realize what is truly important to me and what I want in my day to day life. I can’t believe how much I miss something until it is gone, and then reappears in your life unsuspected. I am so grateful for all the many blessings that I have had in my life in the last 6 months or so. I met Justin, and dated him for a short while. He reminded me how much I missed the church, and after all that had happened with my old ward; for the first time in a long time I wanted to go back. I felt so at home learning with him beside me in a place that was so amazing. The feelings that I got as I sat there on Sunday in sacrament and listened to a girl speak on how you can’t let other take away something that is so important to you. I decided right then, this is what I want in my life. I truly want to be married in the temple, I want to have my child brought up in the gospel, I want the priesthood to be present in my home, I want to be married not only to my best friend but to the love of my life; but most of all I want to have that relationship with my heavenly father that Justin has with him. Justin is an amazing person, the way that he brings you up with just a smile and a few short words. The words of the church flow through his mouth as if he was the one who wrote down the scriptures himself. It is honestly amazing to me the spirit that he cares with himself. He not only has an amazing relationship with heavenly father, but his relationship with his family is phenomenal. The relationship that I missed with my own family, I learned so much from him. I started to fix things with my family, and we started getting along so much better. I missed the day of the long conversations that I could have with my mom. The relationship and feeling of security that my dad brought when he was helping me out with anything big or small. The relationship that I could get along with my brother, not fight and honestly enjoy each others company. When august came and things ended with Justin and I, I can honestly say for the first time “I missed just being able to see someone that made me smile as much as he did.” And “I miss the friendship that we had, the love that he made me feel, the security of his hugs, the touch when our hands intertwined, and the knowing that he was there whenever I needed him the most.” Though our time was short, Justin set the bar high for the man that I will marry. He made me understand what I really wanted, not only physical but emotionally too. I have to say “Justin Milo Vaughn, thank you for everything that we shared, thank you for everything that you taught me, and I hope that one day in the future that our paths will cross again; we will one day be friends. Love always, McKenzie Elizabeth Spafford.”

August, September, October, November, and December all seemed to blur together. I started miss more and more of church due to this sickness that overwhelmed my body. I constantly was home sick, and not just a little sick. I could hardly get myself out of bed, my body was to the point that it could not move. December 24, 2009 I got so sick and the pain in my stomach got so intense that I thought someone was stabbing me with a knife. Phil told me to never be scared to ask for a blessing, so I did. Best thing ever, I got relief for the night. Christmas day came and I still was not feeling good, so too the emergency room we went. I spent 5 hours of my Christmas in Riverton Hospital Emergency Room; how fun huh? After being sent home told that I was imaging things and that nothing was wrong with me, my mom was infuriated. We got home on Sunday and first thing Monday morning she made a call to a dear friend of our family. Dr. Bruce Williams got me a scan at the hospital within 30 minutes. 1 ½ hours later, after the scan was done, we got the results within a few short 20 or so minutes. I was to have surgery that day, to have my gallbladder out. It was serious, and it had to be done. Ah, I was now scared. Once it was all said and done, I sit her on my bed thankful that the blessing I asked for said “please give McKenzie relief from the pain that she is feeling, and that the doctors will be able to see what is attacking her body and causing all this trouble for her.” It has been hard, but it will be worth it. I can’t wait to be able to go and do something again. I can’t wait to have dinner and go bowling with Brooke, and I can’t wait to be able to not worry about how much I am carrying. Kind of is a pain, if you ask me, but I will follow the doctor’s orders so that I will get better! Soon!

I have had a lot of emotions going through my head this last week. I feel that I have fallen away from the one thing that I told myself I wanted so badly. Today, I decided to read someone’s blog. I have a hard time with this person, but for some reason I thought about it on my ride home and I had a feeling that I had to do it. It was weird for me to even think about it, but I acted upon my feeling. This was exactly what I needed. I say a video and read the words that were typed before me. I read from top to bottom, I couldn’t stop. I found myself in tears as I thought about my life. Right here I made a decision. No matter what I will get up on Sunday morning and I will go to church. I will sit there in my college ward and I will smile. I want to learn, I want to know, I want understanding, and I want to have the knowledge that the scriptures will give me. I want to build up my testimony again. I want the church in my life. I think that you should all watch this video; I will put the link below. Please do it. If you don’t have time now, save it the link and visit it soon. I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me. Watch and think.

Sometimes, the lord works in mysterious ways. He knows what you need, just when you need it. Please, don’t ever just not follow through with one of his promptings, it could be big or it could be small, but it is important.

Thank you for reading, I know this was long but I had to share it with all of you.

Love always, Kenz.