Thursday, March 28, 2013

From Deep WIthin

Writing has always been a great outlet for me, and when I started blogging I never realized how much I would be able to tell personal stories and struggles. I am one of the people who keep a lot of things bottled up, and I struggle with my emotions due to personal family issues. I never feel like it is a good time to let all the things I am feeling and going through surface, so things tend to build and then they tend to explode. This is how life has been for me for a long time now, and I never truly could see how it affected me physically.
This past December I was diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety. All of the constant ups and downs of my emotions are something I have dealt with for a few years now. I just never felt like they affected my life, honestly I thought they were normal. Then the panic attacks and the constant worry and anxiety over everything started occurring on a regular basis. I never wanted to admit to myself that I was dealing with these issues, honestly I though I was a “crazy” person for going through all of this. Then I finally admitted to myself, with the help of an old co-worker that I need to talk to someone about it.
This is when life changed for me, and in a big way. My long time boyfriend and I broke up after being together for 3 years. I started to realize then how much of a toll my Depression was taking on our relationship. It was then that I made a decision; I absolutely have to get help for myself. I need to be healthy and I need to make sure that I am in control of my body.
After getting some treatment and constantly writing about my feelings, as well as being more open to talk about them I feel like my life has come to a better place. Now I am not saying that I have made a full recovery or anything, cause I still have along way to go. Depression is a deep issue, and I have only begun to peel back the layers of what is going on. I do feel though that I have a better control on my anxiety, I can now understand what my body needs in order to calm itself down. I am pretty proud of myself for the progress I have made.
Blogging is such a great way to keep my mind occupied and it is such a helpful source to find inspiration. I truly have enjoyed becoming more involved in the blogging world and it has helped me so much with this progress. Blogging isn’t just something to do anymore, but it is something I look forward to and I enjoy planning what I am going to post about next.
I know there are a lot of people out there that are struggling with depression and anxiety; well I am here to tell you. It does get better; find it in yourself to seek treatment. Grab a journal and start to write everything your feeling down, it helped me and I bet it can help you too.
Well if you made it to the end of this long post, you’re a great friend. Thank you for letting me vent a little and write a personal story down for you.

Much love, Kenzie.

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